Friday, August 30, 2013

What Happens When I Can't Sleep

Alright.  It is 1:03 in the morning as I start this post.  Wait.  Change that.  1:04.  Alright.  While this might not seem late for some of you, this is super late for me.  I am the person who usually goes to bed by 11 at the latest.  For the first two months of my freshman year of college, my roommate and I were always in bed by 9:30.  PM.  In case I needed to clarify.  So that fact that I am awake right now is strange.

I came to bed around 11:30.  Then I watched the end of the episode of Dance Moms that I was watching.  (No shame.)  I thought, "Hey now.  Maybe I am tired!  Let's try sleep!"  So I closed my computer and closed my eyes.  Of course, that is when I got it into my head that I should start a vlog.  I mean, I like videos.  I like to talk.  I like to tell stories.  How perfect would this be!

Alright.  By this point, I have decided that I need to start working on the vlog right away.  I find a website where I can do free animations.  I attempt to make an opening sequence on this for a while.  This proves to be unsuccessful.  Then I look at some websites that could help me create a logos for free.  One website says it is free and then I learned that I have to pay $70 to buy the logo if I like it.  Umm... That is not free people.  Another website wanted my logo to look like Shrek.  So I ditched that idea.  So I open iMovie and start playing with that.  I discover that the wall color in my room serves as the perfect green screen.  I start putting awkward dance videos over different backgrounds.  The only problem is that my door in all of the videos is slightly green because of the way the light is hitting it so it acts all funky in the video, half showing up, half disappearing.  It was weird.  Then I decided that I might be able to edit out the door.  That was unsuccessful.  So then I deleted everything and turned to Google.

(This might be a good time to mention that, due to a lack of outlets by my bed, I am sitting in the dark.  I look like this.)

(I also feel like I should explain my problem.  I only have two outlets in my room.  My phone is plugged into one and my computer into the other.  And my computer is a vital part of attempting to start a vlog in the middle of the night so it needs to be plugged in because I ran the battery down watching Dance Moms earlier today while I crocheted a Union Jack.  And I am far too lazy to get up and walk the two feet to the light switch to turn on the overhead light.  Because if I turn it on, I have to turn it back off.  And, as I mentioned before, I am just too lazy.  I mean, it is 1:15 in the morning!  I can't be expected to get up and walk!)

Alright.  Now I have completely sidetracked myself.  Where was I?  Oh right.  Google.  I decided that I would Google "How do vloggers come up with their themes?"  This seemed pretty straight forward to me.  I want to know how they make their title screens!  Google did not understand the logic of my thinking and corrected "vloggers" to "bloggers" which led me to some confusing results until I realized that I was looking at results that were not related to what I wanted.  So I finally get it to recognize "vloggers" and the results all tell me how to successfully become a vlogger.  Which would be great except that they all say, "What creates a good, successful vlog is a good idea and luck."  Huh.  That isn't extremely helpful.

(OK.  So I felt the need to show you how incredibly lazy I am being.  So I took a picture of my lightswitch.)

(Alright.  Let me explain this picture.  See that small, glowing thing by the door?  That is my lightswitch.  And the white headboard on the left is my bed.  Which I am sitting it.  It really isn't that far away...)

(Another side note about the lights:  While I was waiting for that picture to transfer from my phone to my computer, I realized that I had to go to the bathroom.  I turned the lights on on my way out of my room so that I could find my way out and then back.  Once I got back, I turned my lights off because my brain said that I was going to bed and didn't need them on.  It wasn't until I was back in my bed looking at my computer that I realized what I had done.  Oh man.  My life can be so hard at times.)

Alright, so Google wasn't helpful.  In fact, it scared me a little.  It kept telling me that I needed to spend crazy amounts of money on cameras and stuff.  I just wanted to tell people entertaining stories!  I just wanted to entertain people!  I don't have money to buy cameras and tripods and screens and lights and everything!

So, by this point, I am confused about my feelings about vlogs.  I promptly close every window I have open that had been working in some way on the vlog.  I delete the pictures off of my desktop that I had gathered to put into my vlog.  And then I look at the clock.  It is one in the morning.  (That was then.  Now it is 1:28am, for anyone who is keeping track.)  So that scared me.  My face does this.

I then decided that, in my sleepy-yet-unable-to-sleep state, I should write a blog post about this!  What a great idea!  Which brings us to now.  And I am no closer to being able to sleep than I was before.  I could read but that brings back the problem of the lights which I have no want to solve.  And I bought a new book light for exactly this circumstance but he is downstairs because I thought he was awesome and wanted to show him off to everyone.  I say "he" because my book light is Buzz Lightyear.  It is pretty much the coolest.  

Who cares that it was made for children?  It matched my Toy Story poster!  (I found that picture online because I didn't want to walk all the way downstairs to get mine.  Thank you!)

Oh my goodness.  This has gotten to be quite long.  I bet most people stopped reading pretty early on.  For those of you who have made it this far, I commend you.  In fact, if you leave a comment with your first name, I will write you an acrostic in one of my up coming posts.  Or, if I wake up and still think that making a vlog would be fun, I will read the acrostic poem dramatically in video form.  Yeah.  One of those two things will happen.  I cannot tell you which because it is 1:37 in the morning and these are the crazy ramblings of someone with insomnia.  BUT I promise that the whole poem thing will happen.  In either text or video.  OK.  Now I am going in circles.

What?  You are still here?  I didn't lose you with my circular talk in the last paragraph?  Wow.  I am honored that you are reading this.  Thank you for spending a valuable part of your day and life reading the crazy ramblings of someone who can't sleep.  That really means a lot to me.

OK.  I should attempt to go to bed again.  Or see what is on Netflix...  (For the record, I am going with Netflix.)  


  1. Jessica!!! (You can leave out the "i" if that makes it easier, it's not like we use it anyway)